Okay, so I wasn’t all that nice. In my defense, if you lack a sense of humor and are blessed with hyper-active and easily hurt feelings, you should probably not hang out on an off-color adult oriented humor page.
Sometimes, I just can’t help myself.
Seriously….show of hands, folks. How many people really thought this was an intentional slight against the handicapped? Geez. Try decaf, dude. And TURN OFF YOUR DAMN CAPS-LOCK.
My comment would, of course, be the last one. My troll refuses to talk to me now. Sniff.
Here’s what I have so far learned during my abrupt relocation to a new city.
It’s hot here in the summer. No, seriously. It’s like the belly of Hell here. I left a takeout cup on my back deck while putting away a few boxes and it melted on the bottom.
A long empty home is full of lots and lots of loverly surprises, just waiting for you to find them. Most of them aren’t very nice. If you don’t believe me, I can refer you to the long dead, dessicated, and mummified mouse (with trap still attached) which I found under my new sink. Eeewww.
As stated in number 1, I have discovered that the specific definition of Hell is a home in late summer with no air conditioning and 2 small children who have completely lost their sense of humor about the situation. Thankfully, we do have some window units up and going. It was a hairy couple of days before that, though. Mom and 2 kiddos, all trying to get the spot directly in front of the one piddly oscillating fan. Still looking forward with glee to actually getting the outside unit going again.
A week without television or internet access sucks the big one. I was reduced to playing freaking Freecell.
No water is not a thing to be desired at any time of the year. In August it really, really stinks. I was so thankful to have any water at all that the all-cold that I have now is manna from Heaven. Who needs hot? I just want wet.
No matter how many trips you make, or how many boxes you pack and move, when you get back to continue packing there is just as much stuff as before you started. I am almost certain it is breeding, because I have unpacked things I not only do not remember packing but have actually never seen before.
I am pretty sure the war on drugs is fighting against the wrong substances. I had to unstopper some contact cement to re-affix the formica edging on my Master Bath sink and garden tub surround, and I was high for at least a day and a half. That seems to me to be a better bang for your buck than anything you buy off the street. Perhaps they should wage a war on home improvement supplies instead.
If you ever start to feel that your life is sinking into a rut, or begin to yearn for adventure, pack up your family and move somewhere you have never lived and know nothing about. Just trying to find the damn grocery store suddenly becomes an odyssey worthy of Ulysses (who still made it home faster than I did last time I had to find something around here).
I am up quite early this morning, in a silent house filled with my sleeping family, watching the sun come up. In about half an hour or so, there will be a little boy chirping and singing in the next room, but for now nobody needs me, or wants anything from me. This is my net surfing, coffee drinking, sneak in a hot shower time. In honor of a beautiful morning full of happy vibes, I thought I would share what I am watching right now with all of you, so y’all can all have a smile first thing this morning, too.
This is every cat I have ever owned. I have yet to see one of these clips that doesn’t make me smile. All of y’all have a beautiful day, afternoon, evening, wherever you are!
After weeks of no rain, and watching everything in my yard curl up, get crunchy, & die, we are now on day 2 of rain. It is 0430 and still over 90 degrees, but at least we have a little moisture now. In honor of the rain and all the happy vibes it gives me, no ranting this morning. Instead, I dug around my favorite humor sites & pages and offer this:
My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words… so no one has a reason to have a heightened sense of themselves. We are all ignorant, we are all found wanting, we are all bad people sometimes.