Insert Ridiculously Random Post Here…..


For some reason I cannot fathom, I have had a peculiar little monologue in the back of my head all day today.  A pushy and persistent voice has been cataloging this silly bucket list and for want of a better term……anti-bucket list.  Perhaps if I share, it’ll go and leave me in peace.

Ahem…..

Do this.  Seriously, do it at least once, just so you can say you did.

(1)  Drink your coffee outside and listen to the birds waking up the day.

(2)  Sing Opera in the car.

(3)  Use a foreign accent for an entire day.

(4)  Smell a flower.  Inhale deeply.

(5)  Read something by Terry Pratchett.  You’ll thank me later for this one.

(6)  Open up Wikipedia.  Type in any search term you choose, then follow the first highlighted link in the article.  Repeat 7 times.  Read whatever has popped up on your screen.

(7)  Go to the nearest decent-sized strip mall.  Spend the afternoon ducking in and out of random stores pretending you are James Bond being pursued by enemy agents.

(8)  Go on a scavenger hunt in a nearby park.  Search for unusual items, and instead of collecting and disturbing them, snap pictures of them.

(9)  For at least one hour, read articles by those whose viewpoints oppose your own.  Really think about what they say and why they say it.  Perspective is a cool thing.

(10) Cook something you have never made before, that you would never ordinarily eat.  The farther out of your comfort zone you get, the more bonus points you get on this one.

Don’t do this.  These things fulfill no-one and provide no joy.  Plus, some of them are just rude.  And stupid.

(1)  Finish other people’s sentences for them.

(2)  Give any credence at all to beauty/fashion magazines.  Baz Luhrmann said it best.  “Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.”

(3)  Speed up or slow down just to annoy another driver.  Yes, even that guy over there.  If he’s that douchey, someone else will cut him off for you.  Maybe karma will let you watch.

(4)  Leave lights or appliances on when you go to bed.  Seriously, if you are unconcerned about environmental impact, think of the money you’ll eventually save by shutting things down at night.

(5)  Engage in the seat up or seat down argument.  You have eyes.  Use them.  Seriously.

(6)  Borrow a vehicle, change settings and adjust mirrors and seat.  Return vehicle without replacing things as they were.

(7)  Utter the phrase “There ought to be a law” without thinking long and hard about whether you want the same phrase turned on yourself.

(8)  Complain about government without voting or actively working for change.

(9)  Judge.  Ever.

(10)  Forget to do calf pumping exercises when seated for long periods of time.  DVTs and clots are no laughing matter.

I admit it.  I spent half an afternoon not long ago at the local mall pretending I was on the run from the agents of CHAOS.  Am I embarrassed?  Nope.  If you devote one afternoon a week to doing something silly, or out of your comfort zone, you will be a much happier person.  Breaking out of a rut by doing something completely out of character is the best gift you can give yourself.  Even if it means asking random sales clerks where Waldo is.

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10 thoughts on “Insert Ridiculously Random Post Here…..

  1. I’ve not done any of the do do list, but plenty of the don’t do list… now there’s food for thought! 😀

  2. 1-10 of to do list I have done or do do…

    Of to not, I have done #1 to help a mate with a stutter move his conversation, #3 all the time and in dual lanes the car beside me usually clicks and does.the same.

    #4 because I fall asleep or piss of neighbor, I think I posted a story about that actually.

    #5 I don’t understand

    #6 is a daily thing at work with hotseating trucks and machinery.

    #9 because that fucking prick who stole my hubcaps can’t feed his family with them.

    #10 I drive for long periods (10-11 hours a day) and its impossible to do them.

    • It wasn’t meant as a literal ‘you suck if you ever do these’ list. i’ve done all the negs too. my problem isn’t so much with helping the flow of conversation along-that actually falls into the positive side. it was more a slap against folks who cut into sentences because they just want to talk and don’t care that you already are. by the way, the seat up or seat down thing refers to the neverending war between women and men in regards to whether they put the seat down in the bathroom. even when driving, you can do modified calf exercises by wiggling, jiggling, and moving your foot back and forth. every little bit helps. karma will take care of the prick who stole your hubcaps, i promise, but yeah….he sucks. now i gotta find your story about pissing off your neighbor……..

      • Oh I knew that, I was just saying what I’ve accomplished…

        Ahh the inevitable toilet seat argument, I was taught a brilliant compromise when I was just a young tacker. I’ll post the genius idea my father taught me and I’ve taught my sons… Whenever I get internet back on my laptop, posts are a prick to do on a phone.

  3. Martha AR says:

    Enjoyed the lists, you certainly are a master of many things…it’s amazing! My chaos is mostly at home and of my own creation with my three canines. Well done.

  4. El Guapo says:

    So if I’ve done most of the things on both lists, do I balance karmically?

    • i don’t know, but I bet you’re having more fun than the average person. I know I am. 🙂 I’ve done both lists, myself. I just tend to believe you will be a happier person in general if you focus on a positive list as much as you can.

  5. kelsgonebush says:

    I am an agent of Chaos !! Well Chaos the K9 anyway 😉 thank you for following , I love your blog already ! this post got me hooked instantly 😀
    Xx Kel

  6. magsx2 says:

    Hi,
    Well I can say with honesty, that I usually do sit out on the back deck and drink my coffee, we usually have breakfast out there as well, and early evening it’s wonderful to see the stars start to shine. 😀

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